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better now

by Max Fantastic

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1.
better now 01:22
better now, im better now still got my ups and downs but im better now cause im self-sufficient and i love myself i run my face under water and it hurts like hell but i don't care im just an empty shell i'm a good person and i love myself better now, im better now still got my ups and downs but im better now cause i don't really care what u think of me i fall off my bike and i scrape my knees but none of that really bothers me im turning into a good human being
2.
it might look like im doin' great on the outside but what ya don't know is that im just scraping by you might think i'm good at playing guitar but truth is these chords make my hand hurt really hard you might think u wanna be one of my friends but you would not if u knew i never talk to them if after all of that, you still want me after you've seen what i can truly be, i just might consider you my friend i have tiny bumps under my eyes where tear drops fall when i cry and i don't know how they got there but i like them oh i will go to therapy and afterwards we'll get ice cream with my dad, i love you so much thanks for bein' there all this hurt will make you stronger even if it doesn't feel like that right now everything you do feels smaller that's just not true something i cannot admit: i'm scared of the post office i can't help it, i feel so anxious all the time but i will dry the bumps under my eyes each and every time i cry they're there to remind me of things i like about myself all this hurt will make you stronger even if it doesn't feel like that right now everything you do feels smaller that's just not true everything you do is huge everything you do feels smaller that's just not true everything you do is huge
3.
good inside 03:08
why don't you push me to the ground again i know you want to why don't you mess with my head again isn't that what you do? you'll say you're sorry but u don't understand you'll say you're sorry but you'll just do it again how long will this last? i've tried so many times to escape my past how many times can i survive? and what can i do to stay good inside? good inside why couldn't i see (better now) why couldn't i be (better now) i'm not what i seem i am (better now) i don't make it a thing cause i'm (better now) this won't last forever i promise, i'm not a pretender you've survived countless times and you will always be good inside good inside
4.
i am just everyone i've met put into one i am just some meat and bones and organs and blood cause i dont have any interesting qualities, i don't know and i can't feel anything in my body, i don't know all my songs are every one i like put into one all my songs are stupid plagarized and undone cause i don't have any originality, i don't know and i probably owe you some money, i don't know
5.
6.
tired 02:56
i'm not so sure of what i know i'm not that smart i try so hard to be someone i'd like if i wasn't me but i am tired i am just me hello old friend of mine seems we lost track of time you used to tell me things about the things that i could not see so if you're tired lay down your head
7.
running away 02:19
been having those dreams again, i don't like them why'd your cat hafta die? been having those dreams again where he is there and his breath is on my neck and i dont like it so i push him away but it never works so i run away and it kinda works i keep running away i didn't go outside today, i know i should have i'm wasting away i know i should be going to college but i am scared so i push you away i know it doesn't help so then i run away doesn't help at all i know you can do it but you're better at taking care of other people than you are of yourself you just haven't realized that you're a person who is not connected to your body at all even tho you feel that all the time you just keep running away
8.
held you in my hand made you feel safe and sound then watched your soul float up into the clouds now you're in the fridge and soon you'll be in the ground i'll take a snippet of your fur so i can remember how soft you were even as the rest of what is left of you turns to dirt it's sad but not too sad it's ok its not that bad and i know hamsters aren't meant to live forever i used to wish you could but saw u got sad as you got older you can close your eyes but don't forget to say goodbye i know it hurts but soon it'll be alright please wake up please open your eyes it's sad but not too sad it's ok its not that bad and i know you're in a better place but i still wish you were here cuddled right up next to my face and i love you and i miss you
9.
numbers song 02:46
1 and 2...3 and 4 i love you more than anyone 5 and 6 give me a kiss, let me try your clothes 789 i feel just fine and number 10 you're my best friend, can't wait to see you again 123 be careful with me i've been hurt before 456 i'm delicate and that's no joke 789 my body's never felt like mine and i don't know why number 10 i probably fucked up again so brace yourself 123 is there something wrong with me? was it all my fault? 456 don't know how to talk about it guess i'll just repress 789 i forget sometimes but i've survived and number 10 i'm gonna do it again!!!!!!
10.
hey! 01:22
hey listen to this song that i just wrote that i hate everything is cool and i am super ok i'm failing almost everything all i ever do is just sit in my room dreaming of things i will ever do isn't that something else everyone i ever loved just kinda pulled me apart maybe i'm just fragile i'm just weak in the heart that kinda makes sense now guess i have one of those personalities the ones that people treat less like a human being and more like you're expendable i'm sorry you're too bitter to except that i've changed are u sorry u hurt me in a million ways? listen to this song i just wrote that i hate everything is cool and i'm super ok i'm failing almost everything

about

songs about healing, growing, and learning to cope
thanks to:
Becca, Grace, and Olivia
Mom and Dad
and all my friends, I love you

credits

released April 16, 2018

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about

Max Fantastic Seattle, Washington

18 year old song writer from Seattle

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