1. |
better now
01:22
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better now, im better now
still got my ups and downs
but im better now
cause im self-sufficient and i love myself
i run my face under water and it hurts like hell
but i don't care im just an empty shell
i'm a good person and i love myself
better now, im better now
still got my ups and downs
but im better now
cause i don't really care what u think of me
i fall off my bike and i scrape my knees
but none of that really bothers me
im turning into a good human being
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2. |
the biggest feeling
03:44
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it might look like im doin' great on the outside
but what ya don't know is that im just scraping by
you might think i'm good at playing guitar
but truth is these chords make my hand hurt really hard
you might think u wanna be one of my friends
but you would not if u knew i never talk to them
if after all of that, you still want me
after you've seen what i can truly be,
i just might consider you my friend
i have tiny bumps under my eyes where tear drops fall when i cry
and i don't know how they got there but i like them
oh i will go to therapy and afterwards we'll get ice cream
with my dad, i love you so much thanks for bein' there
all this hurt will make you stronger
even if it doesn't feel like that right now
everything you do feels smaller
that's just not true
something i cannot admit: i'm scared of the post office
i can't help it, i feel so anxious all the time
but i will dry the bumps under my eyes each and every time i cry
they're there to remind me of things i like about myself
all this hurt will make you stronger
even if it doesn't feel like that right now
everything you do feels smaller
that's just not true
everything you do is huge
everything you do feels smaller
that's just not true
everything you do is huge
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3. |
good inside
03:08
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why don't you push me to the ground again
i know you want to
why don't you mess with my head again
isn't that what you do?
you'll say you're sorry
but u don't understand
you'll say you're sorry
but you'll just do it again
how long will this last?
i've tried so many times to escape my past
how many times can i survive?
and what can i do to stay good inside?
good inside
why couldn't i see (better now)
why couldn't i be (better now)
i'm not what i seem i am (better now)
i don't make it a thing cause i'm (better now)
this won't last forever
i promise, i'm not a pretender
you've survived countless times
and you will always be good inside
good inside
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4. |
everything i am
01:59
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i am just everyone i've met put into one
i am just some meat and bones and organs and blood
cause i dont have any interesting qualities, i don't know
and i can't feel anything in my body, i don't know
all my songs are every one i like put into one
all my songs are stupid plagarized and undone
cause i don't have any originality, i don't know
and i probably owe you some money, i don't know
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5. |
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6. |
tired
02:56
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i'm not so sure of what i know
i'm not that smart
i try so hard to be
someone i'd like if i wasn't me
but i am tired
i am just me
hello old friend of mine
seems we lost track of time
you used to tell me things
about the things that i could not see
so if you're tired
lay down your head
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7. |
running away
02:19
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been having those dreams again, i don't like them
why'd your cat hafta die?
been having those dreams again where he is there and his breath is on my neck
and i dont like it
so i push him away
but it never works
so i run away
and it kinda works
i keep running away
i didn't go outside today, i know i should have
i'm wasting away
i know i should be going to college but i am scared
so i push you away
i know it doesn't help
so then i run away
doesn't help at all
i know you can do it but you're better at taking care of other people than you are of yourself
you just haven't realized that you're a person who is not connected to your body at all
even tho you feel that all the time
you just keep running away
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8. |
hamsters go to heaven
02:49
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held you in my hand
made you feel safe and sound
then watched your soul
float up into the clouds
now you're in the fridge and soon you'll be in the ground
i'll take a snippet of your fur
so i can remember how soft you were
even as the rest of what is left of you turns to dirt
it's sad but not too sad
it's ok its not that bad
and i know hamsters aren't meant to live forever
i used to wish you could but saw u got sad as you got older
you can close your eyes
but don't forget to say goodbye
i know it hurts but soon it'll be alright
please wake up please open your eyes
it's sad but not too sad
it's ok its not that bad
and i know you're in a better place
but i still wish you were here
cuddled right up next to my face
and i love you
and i miss you
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9. |
numbers song
02:46
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1 and 2...3 and 4
i love you more than anyone
5 and 6
give me a kiss, let me try your clothes
789 i feel just fine
and number 10
you're my best friend, can't wait to see you again
123 be careful with me
i've been hurt before
456 i'm delicate
and that's no joke
789 my body's never felt like mine
and i don't know why
number 10 i probably fucked up again
so brace yourself
123 is there something wrong with me?
was it all my fault?
456 don't know how to talk about it
guess i'll just repress
789 i forget sometimes but i've survived
and number 10
i'm gonna do it again!!!!!!
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10. |
hey!
01:22
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hey listen to this song that i just wrote that i hate
everything is cool and i am super ok
i'm failing almost everything
all i ever do is just sit in my room
dreaming of things i will ever do
isn't that something else
everyone i ever loved just kinda pulled me apart
maybe i'm just fragile i'm just weak in the heart
that kinda makes sense now
guess i have one of those personalities
the ones that people treat less like a human being
and more like you're expendable
i'm sorry you're too bitter to except that i've changed
are u sorry u hurt me in a million ways?
listen to this song i just wrote that i hate
everything is cool and i'm super ok
i'm failing almost everything
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Max Fantastic Seattle, Washington
18 year old song writer from Seattle
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